n The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability in Business and in Life, John G. Miller presents an alternative way to look at our problems (or challenges) and encourages us to ask different, but better questions about them. In doing so, our efforts should have better results, our lives should be more rewarding, and others (e.g., customers, superiors, coworkers, subordinates, and family) should win as well. A wide body of research does concur with Miller, in that how we frame our problems and how we talk about them affects our well-being and our level of accomplishment.
Miller starts off by illustrating incorrect questions (IQ's). IQ's focus on things or people outside or external to us. Some examples might be "When will he learn to manage better?", "Why can't they see my point-of-view?", "Why can't they hire better workers?". IQ's tend to sap our energy and deflate our spirit.
IQ's do, however, seem to come naturally, perhaps as a result of human nature. Miller often asks groups of people what's the one thing they would like to change in their organizations. The answers always follow the external P's: that is, change the policies, procedures, prices, and other people. "Nobody ever says me." As an example, look at the following questions and see what is the first response that comes to mind.
-A poor subordinate blames the _____.
-A poor executive blames the _____.
-A poor driver blames the _____.
-A poor church member blames the _____.
Although these thoughts or questions may be natural, they lead us into blame, complaining, and procrastination. Miller's solution is to discipline our thoughts and to look behind our initial questions to come up with better questions-or, as he terms it, the question behind the question (QBQ).
In practice, when incorrect questions pop into our head, we have the control to make a choice: we can either accept or reject the questions. The better choice is to ask more personally accountable questions, such as "What can I do today?", "How can I help my organization right now?", or "How can I assist my wife (mom, dad, daughter, son, etc.)?". The key, therefore, is to make better choices and decisions in the moment by asking better questions.
Miller presents a nice framework for QBQ's. These are his three guiding principles for better questions or QBQ's. Better questions:
1. "Begin with what or how (not why, when or who)."
2. "Contain I (not they, we, or you)."
3. "Focus on action."
A perfect example of a QBQ is "What can I do right now?" The essence of the QBQ system is that "the answers are in the questions". If you ask the right question you can make positive moves toward achievement and a rewarding life.
Miller gives many examples of incorrect questions or incorrect questioning. Some of those are as follows:
*Don't ask why. Questions such as "Why is this happening to me?" or "Why don't others do their share?" leave one powerless and a victim of the environment. This victim thinking leads to a diminished sense of control and more stress. As we feel we have less control over our lives we experience greater levels of stress.
*Don't ask when. Questions such as "When will they do something about it?" puts the ball into other people's courts-we have no choice but to wait. When questions lead to procrastination, feeling overwhelmed, and again, more stress. A better, question behind the question, would be "What steps can I take right now?" As Miller states, "the answers are all in asking the right questions."
*Don't ask who. Questions such as "Who caused the problem?" or "Who did this?" lead to a search for scapegoats and someone to blame. These questions solve nothing and create barriers, resentment, and miscommunication. Questions such as "How can I improve this situation?" or "What can I do so this doesn't happen again?" are more appropriate QBQ's.
Miller notes that one of today's popular phrases is "Think outside the box" in order to be more creative and solve problems. He notes, however, that QBQ thinking helps us to "succeed inside the box"-to reach our goals within our current system and circumstances. Every organization has deficiencies and finite resources. QBQ's help us to do more with less. A good "succeed inside the box" question is "What can I do with what I have?".
The book concludes with a list of lousy questions and the better QBQ's or questions behind the questions. These are organized into different departments within organizations and/or different life situations. A brief sample follows.
The sales department:
"Why are our prices so high?"
"When are we going to get some new products?"
"Why can't we get better customer service support?"
QBQ's:
"What can I do today to be more effective?"
"How can I add value for my customers?"
The management:
"When am I going to get better people?"
"Why aren't my workers more motivated?"
"Why do they keep making the same mistakes?"
QBQ's:
"How can I be a more effective coach?"
"What can I do to help them do their job better?"
One' spouse:
"Why doesn't he/she let go of that old issue?"
" When will he/she appreciate me more?"
"When will he/she stick to his/her fitness plan?"
QBQ's:
"How can I understand his/her perspective better?"
"What can I do to help him/her out?"
To summarize, "The Question Behind the Question: Practicing Personal Accountability in Business and Life" presents some very useful concepts in a highly readable format. In it, John G. Miller provides some basic, yet powerful ideas about creating a more rewarding and fulfilling life.
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